12-16-08 Tuesday *

B- 2 c coffee HC CO AS
(382 cals - 5.2 carbs)

L-2 oz summer sausage (190 cals - 0 carbs)
1 oz cheese (120 cals - 0 carbs)
2 oz walnuts (380 cals - 4 carbs)

D-6 oz sirloin steak ( 230 cals - 0 carb)
w/ 3 T one carb catchup (15 cals - 3 carbs)
Fried Cabbage (98.5 cals - 6.6 carbs)

SN-2 oz walnuts(380 cals - 4 carbs)

Total Calories = 1795.5
Total Carbs =22.8

I'm posting my favorite snowman again just cause I like how he looks.

I think not having food to fall back on to smother feelings, sometimes is hard when you feel those feelings for the first time in a LONG time. I was going through something weird this morning. Feeling really down for no reason at all. Before I would have stopped to get a Sausage biscuit from McDonald's. This morning I didn't give myself that option. So I just dealt with it. I finally came out the other side. I guess I'm just gonna have to learn that, I will always come out the other side. Without having the carbs!
I should have been on top of the world, seeing 244. Haven't seen those numbers in a long while. But its weird. I want people to notice, but yet I don't want them to notice at ALL.
Sorry this blog is just a ramble. I'm just rambling to myself really.
Have a great day everyone!


sybilizedliving.wordpress.com said...

I can certainly relate to what you're saying....on the one hand you want people to notice the changes but on the other hand, it's scary and disconcerting. I think it gets easier over time - but I'm not sure.

Last night we had dinner with friends and I've gone down a size since seeing them last and no one mentioned anything. I was surprised - but not really disappointed. Sometimes I like escaping under the radar.

Sonya said...

If that's rambling, ramble on. :) I totally relate. The thing I've noticed is that the larger we are the more weight we have to lose before anyone notices - AND even if they notice, they may be afraid to say anything.

I have heard people say that they did not want to embarrass me - they did not know if I wanted anyone to comment - they were concerned that noticing might cause a stumbling block for me - they didn't know if it was "proper etiquette" to say anything - etc....

Lots of reasons why people don't say anything even if they do notice. Usually it has nothing to do with us but with how uncomfortable they are. *smile*

That being said, I want people to notice, too but not if it is going to make me the center of attention in a group or something like that. *grin*

Have a great day!

NewVision said...

Thank you both for responding.
I'm actually glad no one has noticed yet. I remember a few years ago when I went for 311 to 230 (which was my lowest) when people started to noticed. I did not like it at all. I kind of feel like now, that may have been my down fall. It was early spring when people started to notice. I had been bundled up all winter, so no one really saw me without all my winter gear on. But when it came time to shed the extra clothes all of a sudden people noticed. I really think thats what did it for me. I didn't gain all the weight back, about 40 pounds or so. So now I'm dealing with getting close to that # again............
I'm ok with it though, I'm ready to go on and be comfortable with me. I guess now I know to prepare myself with the comments. So it was a learning experience. I just wish it hadn't taken me so long to be ready again. :(