03-12-09 Thursday


B-1 coffee HC CO AS [2.6]

L-2 LC Healthy Life bread [12]
2 slices ham [0]
1 slice provolone, mayo [.5]
1 diet soda

D-Arby's Restaurant
1 lg curly fry w/cheese [68]
2 super arbys[90]
3 diet sodas

total net carbs = 173.1

WT=241

No walk

Feeling whinny. So if you don't want to hear me whine. Stop reading now...

I just kind of said the heck with it tonight. Of Course this is no where NEAR where my carbs use to be, but also no where NEAR where they should be. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do from here. I'm sure I won't quit, but I'm really tired of trying.
I know some of you will look at this and say 'trying, she hasn't been trying at all' believe me when I tell you I've been trying. I know if I didn't try half as much as I do, I would be 500 pounds. I'm just discouraged. Why does it have to be so hard? Why doesn't the results = the amount of effort? Are my eyes not open? Am I not seeing things I should be seeing? I know I'm opening myself up to get slammed here with stuff I may not be ready to hear.

I know eating off plan tonight just set me back even further. I know I need to change something. I'm just not sure what I'm willing to change or give up to get me there. AND Gee Wiz how much MORE am I gonna have to give up or change just to get the end result. I still have 100 pounds to lose. How Low am I gonna have to go to get there (on calories and carbs)? I'm eating half the amount I use to eat, Why am I not half the size I use to be???????

Ok, I vented. I'm not sure if its out of my system or not, but I'm done. Sorry if you read this far. I wasn't going to post this, but again I'm trying to make the a time capsule for myself. Someday I may be reading this and figure SOMETHING out....

P.S. Forgot to add that tomorrow night is my 1st Relay for Life, so I will be posting tomorrows menus on Saturday. Just so you know I didn't fall completely off the cliff. :) I will probably just feel like I did after all the walking.... :)

1 comment:

Harry said...

(Hugs) for you, Jo. I'm sorry things are feeling so hard these days.

I for one, KNOW you've been trying really hard. I can also see that your results haven't matched pace with your efforts. I wish it weren't so.

Please don't give up hope though. I'm sure there are strategies that you haven't yet tried. We're all like puzzles with unique pieces. You probably just have to find the right strategies to make the pieces fit for you.

Maybe we (your blog readers) can help you figure some of these things out? If you think it would help, bounce ideas off of us. Many heads may be better than one!